Bookshelf
by Ze Zorege
Summary: Pain wanted a clean base. Tobi wanted a place for his books. Kakuzu wanted to save the money. But it all ends up in disaster as none of them got what they wanted.


_Thud_

He fell down with a bump. He looked up to what he had tripped upon. It was a book – Beauty & The Beast.

He looked around the room.

The room was scattered with books – books which added to his long list of things-to-throw-away, books for five-year olds. They were Tobi's.

"TOBI!" He yelled annoyed.

"Coming, Leader-sama." Tobi rushed out of his room, startling Hidan who was in the middle of one of his time-consuming prayer.

"Watch it, you mother-fucker!"

"Sorry, Hidan-san."

Waving his hands, Tobi greeted Pain cheerfully, "Hi Leader-sama. Did you call for me?"

"Oh yes I did. Why are you messing the room with your stupid, childish books which are of no use to us?"

Tobi replied, "Because I have no place to keep them. That's why."

"Grrr….Why don't you keep them in your own room instead of messing the living room?"

"Well Deidara-senpai always gets irritable when he sees them so I thought I would do him a favour and keep them in this room."

"Go and fetch Deidara then. Tell him that I want to speak to him."

But Tobi did not hear him for he again rushed out like there was no tomorrow. Soon he came back into the room dragging him by his cloak. Deidara was yelling, "LET GO OF ME …. hmp."

"Here he is, Leader-sama." Tobi said, finally loosening his hold on Deidara.

Relaxed, he asked Pain, "So why did you send for me, hmp?"

"Would you be so kind to tell me what harm there is when you see Tobi's books?"

"Since you ask me, Leader-sama, I shall tell you the reason, yeah. Being the moron he is, he keeps them scattered all over the floor and I will always be the one to trip. I wonder if he does that on purpose … hmp."

"IT'S BECAUSE YOU HAVE ONLY ONE FREAKING EYE! NOW, WOULD YOU ALL SHUT YOUR DAMNED MOUTH?" thundered Hidan, who was already annoyed as their voices was distracting him.

"What about your wardrobe? Do you think it's for decoration, Tobi?" Pain said, once again turning his attention to Tobi.

"Well, if I kept my books in my wardrobe then where would I keep my clothes, Leader-sama?"

"Then, it's simple, burn your books." Pain said this with an air of finality and walked away.

The very idea shocked Tobi so much that he cried for several days until no one was able to bear it. So finally Pain came to a decision.

* * *

"A BOOKSHELF? WHY ON THE EARTH DO WE NEED A BOOKSHELF, LEADER-SAMA?! IT IS A COMPLETE WASTE OF MONEY."

"I have made my mind, Kakuzu. I never want to see the meeting room filled with such useless books."

"I don't get why you people love to squander money. I still think that's stupid."

"If you love money too much to part with it, it is of no use to us."

"Okay then, since you are so sure of your decision, I myself will make a bookshelf. It would save a lot of money."

"Do whatever you must but I want a satisfactory result."

* * *

So the next day, Kakuzu started his work. Well….not only Kakuzu because Hidan was with him. Kakuzu made him – no, forced him – to do most of the work while he laid fiddling with the designs and pointing out the albino's mistakes.

It got on Hidan's nerves.

"WHY ARE YOU LAYING AROUND DOING ABSOLUTELY NOTHING, YOU NO-GOOD BASTARD? YOU WERE THE ONE WHO PROPOSED THIS FREAKING HELL OF A JOB TO LEADER-SAMA!"

"Calm down, Hidan. It's just that I am a little better at calculations than you. Now if you please shut up, I am trying to calculate the amount of lumber needed to complete this."

"WHY WOULD I FREAKING CALM DOWN?"

Finally Kakuzu felt he could not stand his numerous complaints and started to do the 'actual' work.

Making a bookshelf, Kakuzu discovered, wasn't as easy as he thought.

First you have to use a planer, cut the wood according to the measurements and then there was the need for nailing the wood pieces together. Since both of them had different opinions for the size and the material, they quarelled frequently. And, as always, the few pieces which they had somehow managed to get together would always fall apart.

This irritated both of them so much that they came to the conclusion to ask Sasori to make it for them. So, putting their pride in their pockets, they approached Sasori and made a deal with him.

But the deal made was not an easy one for Sasori wanted the extract of a plant which was only found in the mountains. But they managed to get it.

* * *

However, Hidan had fallen from a cliff and was bleeding like a pig. He was also poisoned when he unknowingly took a deep breath when they reached the place and Kakuzu had to drag him all the way to the base leaving a trail of blood behind. He didn't die as he was immortal but the trail was noticed by almost every village that they had to have a new base.

_But,_ they assured themselves, _at least the bookshelf had been finished._

Tobi became very cheerful when the new bookshelf was presented. Soon he was in the process of arranging his books when ….

BOOM!

The bookshelf blew up. Deidara had been annoyed with Tobi for quite some time so he decided to take revenge in one blow.

Leave alone the books and the shelf; their new base had been blown into half of what had been there before.

Pain said angrily, "Kakuzu, thanks to your money-saving schemes, we had to pay more than what it should have cost us. Do you take full responsibility for this mess?"

Kakuzu replied grumbling, "…Yes"

* * *

**A/N: This is my first time writing a one-shot. I don't even know if it counts as a one-shot. Please R&R.**


End file.
